Dear Esha,
I really do not have anything to say but I am really sorry for what you have been going through. I can least suggest if possible you can read books named ‘The Secret” and The Magic” by Rhonda Bryne. As these books are really positive.
And against all the odds, I want you to ask yourself a question for yourself. What does your heart tell about him? Just ask your heart and not head.
I can understand your pain, its real hard, darling. But please DO NOT FORGET TO LOVE YOURSELF the MOst.